April, 2008
Are you called?
On this World Sunday of Vocations, we are confronted with a great need: good and holy priests, deacons, religious, married couples, families, and single men and women. The key often overlooked is the “good and holy.” The Church needs saints to bring life and revitalization. All are called to this holiness. All people need to discern how God calls them to live holiness. Discernment is not a process like searching on the internet to find information. Discernment also is not like those personality or aptitude tests which match us with our perfect jobs. Discernment requires a life of prayer, not a few moments of prayer here and there, and a community, in which we discern. Discernment alone will often be futile. I remember my own vocational story. My discernment for the priesthood began, as I recollect, in high school while on mission trips helping people in the Appalachian region. I still have the journal in which I wrote those scary words: I think God might be calling me to be a priest. It’s one of the few times I ever took time for journaling (it was a structured part of the Sacred Heart parish trip). Yet, my discernment did not advance very far, until on Christmas Eve when my pastor Msgr. Aiken asked me if I would be interested in talking with the vocation director. I had never told him anything about the priesthood (nor do I think I had told anyone at all). And with that, I began to be aware of the community’s discernment process. My pastor, Sr. Jude who works at the parish, various parishioners (some who I did not even know) all supported my interest in the priesthood (before I revealed it).
Yet, I digress from the main point. Discernment requires the life of the community. If you feel called to live this life of holiness as a priest, do not feel alone. Talk with your priest or seminarian. Talk with parishioners you trust. Talk with your parents. Talk to your friends (this might be the hardest – and was the last group I told, though none of them were surprised either). If God is calling you, you will likely find others ready to support you (though not always everyone).
This morning after mass, I headed down to the Pope’s noontime prayer and address to those in St. Peter’s Square. Pope Benedict spoke in English to the American pilgrims, addressing his theme of Christ our Hope to which he will speak when he arrives this Wednesday. Christ is our Hope. In face of priestly scandal, shortage of priests, waning mass participation by Catholics, growing secularism, etc., Christ is our hope. If you personally find holiness impossible, Christ is your hope. We cannot succeed without Christ at the center of our lives. And thus, Christ is the center of all vocations. To be holy, one must be in relationship with Christ, relying on his strength and accepting weakness as he accepted weakness. While many describe the belief that holiness is required before being called, this is not completely true – Christ called the weak and sinners as his closest disciples. Christ does not need the perfect to be his workers – Christ needs the willing. Christ needs those who are open to serve. And this brings me to my thesis which is less than a month from the due date.
As I continue to write away at my thesis, on the identity of the deacon as the icon of Christ the servant, I am continually confronted with the reality of priests: we are deacons! Before ordination to the priesthood, one must first be ordained a deacon permanently (one never loses a sacrament). The word deacon comes from a complex Greek word, diakonos, often translated as servant. Yet Greek has over ten words for servant (much as English has multiple words). Ultimately though, we find the perfect example of diakonos in Christ the servant. Christ is the one who is the greatest and yet chose to serve the least of us. Christ is the one who desires to sit at the head of the table, yet he chose to wash the feet of the apostles. Christ is the one who was divine without sin yet chose to suffer the punishment of sin on the cross for us. Christ also told his disciples to do as he did. We must give sacrificially, emptying ourselves in love for the other. In this way, truly, all Christians are called to serve. What makes a deacon, a priest, or even a bishop different in this call to serve?
The difference has nothing to do with who we are. The difference rests in our relationship to Christ – a relationship that is pure gift (nothing we have earned). In the sacrament of Holy Orders, Christ gives us the grace to live as Christ in a new way. Through Christ, the deacon stands at service of the word and the altar; through Christ, the priest offers the Mass. We must decrease so that Christ may increase in us!
Are you called? This question of discernment cannot be a selfish process, all about what am I to do with my life or how am I to live happily? When asking the Lord, “how do you want me to serve you and serve others in the world?” we must be ready to listen to the Lord. And the Lord will often respond through the affirmation of others. Others will recognize Christ in us – and often see profoundly that we are called to the priesthood.
As I write this blog at the end of the day, I realize it does not really focus on my life’s events this day. But, it certainly marks my history of discernment – and how I am here today. If others had not affirmed my vocation, I might still to this day be occasionally thinking about the priesthood and not doing anything about it. So take this as notice – if you have ever considered the priesthood, open yourself up to Christ. Desire the heart of the servant, who poured his life out for us on the cross. And remember his great gift on the cross: he gives those who follow him his mother Mary who will guide us on the way and his Church who continues to discern the will of God in the world.
